A river town.

Misty weather in the low to mid 50s.

No indoor heat.

Labor pains.

The final push.

A girl – a healthy, perfect baby girl – lots of dark hair, little button nose, chubby cheeks, long fingers and toes.

A decision to be made within the next 48 hours. Not enough time to know who this little person was who had been growning inside her for 9 months.

Did she want to know this little person or was it easier to not know?

Does she cry for her little girl as her little girl cries for her years later?

Does she wonder about the woman who is raising her child as I wonder about her?

Does she wonder how her daughter tilts her head when thinking, or how she skips when she on her way to do something, or her ability to figure out math problems and sound out words?

Does she wonder what her giggle sounds like when her neck is nuzzled?

Does she share a love for all things pink and lavender with her daughter?

Today, as we celebrate with milk shakes after church, our table will filled not only with those of us laughing, but also by the shadow people – the people who gave her the precious gift of life, the people who live in the background only because we don’t know who they are and how to draw them out of the shadows and into the light of the love of our family, but more importantly, into the light of her eyes. They will probably forever live in the shadows because of circumstances beyond their control and our control – the victims of the politcal machine that controls the fate of so many in EBs birth country.

So today I send out prayers for the family who has no idea who this child has become, for the family that had to make a decision that I cannot even hope to comprehend from my warm and comfortable house in a country that does not have the same social, political, and filial pressures as theirs. I pray for peace in their hearts and in the heart of our little girl, for while she lives in my house, calls me Mama, loves me as unconditionally as I love her, she is not just mine, but theirs as well. I will say prayers of thanksgiving that they chose to bring this little girl into the world when her life could easily have been snuffed out.

Our little girl has so much to offer this world of ours. She is incredibly smart. She has a wickedly funny sense of humor. She is sassy. She is loving and giving. She is physically beautiful – saucy eyes, soft hair, long, strong limbs. She has a gentle heart, though it is often hidden by her childish desire to ALWAYS get her way. She loves to avoid manual labor, but will work for hours on an art project. She knows how to push her sister’s buttons and drive her crazy, but will staunchly defend her if someone is picking on her. There is so much of all 4 of her parents in her it is impossible to separate the characteristics that each of us have given her. Together we are creating and molding such a sensitive, wonderful young girl.

So when the flicker of the candles’ light illuminate EB’s face as she makes her wish over her cake, I know I will catch a fleeting glimpse of those people standing in the shadows. Maybe one day the light will reach far enough that they can step out of the shadows and we can fully share and enjoy this miracle that is our daughter.

Visual Processing Dosroder

This is going to be short – have to go get dinner going for the cuties.

During therapy today, Ms M and I were talking about how SPD takes on so many different forms and affects so many different parts of a person.  Previously I had written about how we are working on some visual things with JB.  Well, an adoption site I follow (great articles about all sides of adoption can be found at this site) had a brief article about Visual Processing Disorder.  I thought the statistics were facinating!

 

 

Here we go…

Well, it seems like summer just cools down and suddenly we are in the homestretch of the year, along with the accompanying holidays!   Thank goodness the weather has been pretty good, though, and JB is able to get out and play on the play equipment.  It is doing her a lot of good, moving around when she gets home from school, “reorganizing” as the therapist calls it.  Whatever it is, it usually results in a much calmer evening. 

We are working on the eye excercises.  It is hard to get her to slow down and do them.  I did them the other day, and man, my eyes were so tired!  No wonder JB’s eyes water when she does them.  She brought in her homework from last week and the end of the week tests and she got AWESOME scores.  I am so proud of her.  I have not seen what her math score was, I will have to look that up on line.  She has expressed that she is finding math and science boring.  I need to find a book of easy (really stress the word easy) science experiments that we can do at home.  I know that she would comprehend the importance of these topics if she could see them in action a little more.  If anyone has any suggestions for a book, please let me know!

All the girls in the family got our hair cut the other day.  EB (AKA the Diva)came up to me that afternoon and told me “I want my hair cut short like JB’s.  We want to be “double twins” “.  Well, she stayed true to her word and got 3″ cut off!  It looks adorable with a natural little flip up at the ends.  It is still long enough that she can pull it up in a pony, but it is short enough that it does not get in her face and in her food.  She was a little shy about it at first, because we all made a big deal out of it, but she had a little grin and a sparkle in her eye at the same time. 

Last weekend we had a retreat at church for all the little ones receiving reconcilliation for the first time.  It was a fun filled afternoon. JB LOVED having DH and me all to herself all day.  EB spent the night before at my parent’s house.   She made a craft, we sang songs, we played games, we spent some time in quiet in front of our Lord.  JB appears to have gotten a lot out of the entire experience.  She also has become friends with a little girl in her CCD class.  JB invited her and her family to sit with us at Mass after the retreat.  Next week will be JB’s first reconcilliation.  Please pray for her during these final few days of preparation.  Pray that she will feel comfortable and find peace in this wonderful Sacrament.  Pray that she will draw closer to God with the experience of His forgiveness and unconditional love. 

 

 

Session 2

Well, we had our second therapy session on Tuesday.  I have decided that I am going to have to take off at 6AM to travel the 15 miles to get the hospital.  Man, traffic was awful! 

Anyway, back to the therapy session.  They started JB on the swing.  This is a roughly 2.5×4 foot padded board with ropes at all 4 corners which join together on a spring and then the spring is connects to a single rope that is attached to the ceiling (think one of those tire swings where the tire is parallel to the ground).  I was curious to how JB was going to react to this.  She climbed on and Ms M (the therapist) started pushing her.  Not only does the swing go back and forth, it also moves around and around.  This is interesting.  I watch JB closely because I know that she is not that thrilled with spinning things that she does not control.  She got very somber, but did not say anything.  I continued to watch her.  She kept moving her head to keep it in one position.  I finally asked her if she was spotting.  She said yes.  Now, I am not talking about finding a spot and then whipping her head around to find that spot again.  I mean she found a spot and never took her eyes off it!  The spinning got a little harder (overall it was honestly very mild and gentle) and JB starts moving herself around the swing, once again keeping her eyes on one space.  No matter how fast that swing moved she kept spinning her body on that board so that she kept her head facing the same direction, to the point that she fell off the swing a couple of times.  It was only about 8 inches off a padded floor.  Ms M was really impressed with JB’s coping skills, exhibited by her body spinning.  She said in all the time that she has been a therapist she had never seen a child do that. 

Next we moved into one of the therapy rooms.  She continued to do some testing with some worksheets.  After getting settled on her “wiggle seat” JB approached the worksheets with a lot of seriousness.  Then we moved on to some activities on the computer.  These were activities aimed at strengthening JB’s connection between what she sees and how her mind perceives it.  For example, she has a very difficult time looking at a partial picture and determining what the shape is supposed to be. She also has a lot of difficulty looking at a shape and then determining what it would look like if you tipped it over or what a mirror image would look like.  Ms M explained it to me that there are a couple of things at work here.  One is that she has a rough time settling down due to her SPD, which is really helped with her wiggle seat.  She has also not developed the appropriate pathways between her brain and her eyes, so there are times that what she sees in school is not really what her brain computes.  We are also looking at making sure her eyes are truly working together and that one eye is not significantly stronger than the other.  Both of these conditions can contribute to JB having trouble focusing on her school work.  After the exercises on the computer, JB said that her eyes were tired and felt watery.  She also blinked a lot during them as well.  JB has expressed that sometimes it appears that the words on a page are moving around.  We (DH and I) as well as Ms. M are going to carefully monitor her vision to determine if she needs further evaluation with a developmental eye doctor.  So we ended the session with “homework” to do more of the exercises on the computer at least every other day. 

I struggled about posting this publicly or password protected.  I kept fairly clinical so that I did not reveal any extreme personal information about JB.  But I felt that it is important that people researching SPD realize that it takes so very many forms.  It affects people in so many ways.  Not only is JB a typical sensory seeker, she also has other sensory issues that are probably a result of the “normal” pathways not developing during the typical developmental time frames.    The other thing I want to seriously emphasize is that it can be treatable.  JB has only had 2 actual therapy sessions and I can really see her self-confidence blossom.  I can also see her beginning to use some of the coping skills she has been taught in therapy.  I am so proud of my girl. 

On the ride to her school we sang songs, quizzed spelling words and giggled – a lot!  Therapy is allowing us to have some quality one on one time with each other during the drive.   I need to have DH take her a few times so that he can meet Ms M and give her his input of what he sees in her behavior.  But, even though I intensely dislike early mornings, I hate downtown traffic during early rush hour, I will miss those fun times with my girl in the car on those days when DH takes her.

2009 – the beginning

I am starting to put together my 2009 album (hopefully it will be done before the girls graduate from college!).  This was taken at the beginning of January when the girls wanted to go outside and play in the snow.  We don’t normally have a lot of snow, but January gave them plenty to play in.

TaylorMade – Life+Sprinkles
TaylorMade – From the Heart vol II brushes
Elegant Wordart – word art