I finally got the question

This post goes out to all adoptive parents (and those of you who know adoptive parents).

I have been my oldest child’s mom for 5.5 years. We waited rather impatiently for 2 years to have her placed in our arms.  During that time I have read  so many books about parenting an adopted child – especially those that deal with the questions surrounding their biological parenting.  Many of them I could recite almost chapter and verse.  So was prepared and armed for anything – or so I thought. 

My oldest was the star of her class for the week.  She had to do various projects so that class could learn about her – bring in something for show-and-tell, put something in the mystery box that starts with the first letter of her name, etc.  Another big project is to make a poster all about herself.  On this poster we were to include photos of the family.  So on the Sunday before her week we were dutifully creating her poster.  We moved into the den and were looking at photos for her to choose for her it.  While we were scanning through the photos, she said – “I want to include a picture of my belly-button, mommy”.  This took me off guard. I asked “Why would you want to include a picture of your belly-button, honey?”  She gave the look that only and 6 year old who is smarter than her mother can give, and said, “No, I want to include a picture of my belly-button MOMMY”.  (This is the term we have chosen to use for her birth mother, since we are trying to instill that her birthparents were very special people in her life, and gave her something very special, her belly-button which when the biology lesson comes, equals life).  As I said, I had been preparing for this question for over 7 years.  But when the cards were down, I was so not ready for it!  My biggest concern was that I would feel threatened (selfish, I know).  But at the moment all I felt (besides panic) was an overwhelming sense of sadness that she was going to have to deal with this reality.  I wanted to shield her from the pain of this part of her life, because the truth of the matter is, I don’t have any facts to give to her – I don’t know her whole story, and there in no way to find it out.  Man I wish I had been more proactive about getting their lifebooks done!  I would have had it to read with them when this question came up.  Now I am busting hiney to get them going.

So what is the point of this post? 

1. Read the books, absorb the knowledge and know all the “right” answers, but be prepared to listen to your heart when the questions come

2. You will survive the moment (though I was doubtful that my heart would start beating again and my breathing would resume for a few moments)

3. For me at least, it in no way changed the relationship I have with my child (which was my biggest fear), but in reality made us closer because I have never hidden anything from either of my girls.  She was very comfortable coming to me with her questions and by her responses, I believe that she felt supported by me in that moment.

4. If you are an adoptive parent – GET THE LIFE BOOK COMPLETED ASAP!  If you are someone who knows an adoptive parent, be supportive of them when they are writing their child’s lifebook and when the moment of questioning comes.  It is not easy.  It is not as hard as I expected, but it is something that I have needed to talk about with close friends and my DH.   

Well that is all for right now.   I know this post may not make sense to very many people, but I hope it helps those that need this information!  Have a great day! 

Finally, some creative time

Good afternoon, everyone!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.  Believe it or not, it snowed here on Easter afternoon and evening.  It was very pretty – big, fat, fluffy flakes – but not what I expected for Easter!  The girls had fun.  We visited my grandmother, who is in physical rehab in a nursing home.  The Easter Bunny was able to hide eggs between snow showers.  It was fun to watch the girls run around and dodge each other looking for eggs filled with coins, cookies and candy. 

I finally was able to sit down last night and this afternoon and put together my first 12×12 template.  Once again, this freebie is in both PSD format and PNG format so that more people can use it.  I really hope that you are able to use it.  Please leave me a comment and maybe even a link to where you post it – my comment section is very lonely, and I have yet to see what anyone has created with my templates!  Here is what it looks like…..

Download it HERE. 

March already?

Where in the world has time gone? 

When I sit and think about it, I know that we have been incredibly busy, but time just seems to fly.  I blinked and the entire month of February was gone!  Work has been very  busy for me because my partner has been out on medical leave for a few weeks.   I miss her – she has a wonderful sense of humor and is fun to work with.  I look forward to her return, though it will  be a few more weeks before she is able to drive into work again.   DH has been busy trying to build his business.  The people he works with have been incredibly supportive and helpful.  We are hoping to see significant growth in his personal business in the next few weeks.  Please pray for guidance and success!

Now on to the kiddos.  I know they are the reason (that and freebies) that you even click on this blog. 

Oldest DD is absolutely thriving in all day Kindergarten.  She is such an eager learner.  She wants to read so badly.  She is making terrific headway.  There have been nights that I have to go in and make her put down a book.  The other night she was very distraught that she could not figure out a word in her book of Bible stories.  I looked at the word and gave her credit for even trying.  The word was “Phillistines”.   She writes me love notes every morning.  Her latest was “Mshu Mom” – that is her version of the kissing sound.  It hangs over my workspace in the office so that I can get kisses whenever I need them during the day.  She has earned a spot in the class play.  She is so proud that she has earned this spot.  I am still not sure what the play is – something to do with identifying characters. 

The youngest DD continues to be all girl.  She thrives on drama and Hannah Montana.  Her daddy was at a meeting last night and she was totally upset that he was not there to manipulate and cuddle with last night.  This morning she would not let him go.  She can turn the tears on like a faucet.   For someone who was very withdrawn when she was placed in our arms, she now chatters non-stop around the house and loves to torment her sister.  Her favorite torture methods are to tattle, to find any way to get out of work that I have assigned to them (like cleaning up the playroom) and let her sister do all of it, and any passive-aggressive method of interfereing in her sister’s life that she can manage.  She is very advanced in her letters and numbers and puzzle skills.  I always thought DD#1 was going to be my challenge child.   About 6 months after DD#2 joined the family, I had suspicions that she may surpass DD#1 in that area.  Now, 3 years later, I am convinced!

That is about all the news for now.  Sorry.  No freebie today.  My video card has been going out of my computer for a few weeks, so there was no color except pink.  We got a new card, so hopefully this weekend I can work on something to give you all.  Would you like brag book or 12×12?