JB has been a challenging child since the day she was placed in our arms. She has an independant streak a mile wide. She has boundless energy. She has no fear of anything except mummies. Mix that all together and it is a recipe for a very tired parent.
An example would be going to the grocery store. JB weighed in at a staggering 15# at 1 year old. We would go to the grocery store – you know, the mega stores with the huge wide aisles – and we would go down the middle of the aisle. At 5′8″, I cannot reach from side to side of the aisle. This child could. We would push the cart down the center of the aisle and she would still be able to grab items and put them in the cart. If I let her out of the cart, she would be dashing around the corner, wreaking havoc on every display around. She never wanted to stay in the cart, but she never would stay with me, either. She had the attention span of a gnat and either would not or could not listen to directions. Getting older has not improved matters, she just moves more quickly and is more vocal about her displeasure. Until EB joined our family I never understood how parents could say they enjoyed taking their child to the store. EB sits in the cart or stays beside me and follows directions. Wow, I can get through the store with her without feeling like a shrieking shrew of a mother.
Let’s now move on to kindergarten. We would sit down to work on her homework. Partway through she would look at me with a surprised look on her face and say “gotta run” and would start to run a few laps around the circle in our home and then come back and finish what we were working on. She did not get her repuation in our home as Tigger just because he is my favorite Pooh character. She got it because she just does not walk anywhere – she bounces, she runs, she skips, she gallops – but she does not walk. When she watches TV she sits upside down in the chair. Until the last 2 months I have never been able to read a full book to her. Sitting down for it was not an option. I would try to read to her while she played – she would tell me to stop. But just when I thought we had a big issue she would find a subject that would catch her attention and she would focus beautifully. I met with the school couselors and the teacher and they said that she is within the normal spectrum in the classroom. I began to feel like an incompetent parent since I could not gain rudimentary control of my child at times. But we kept plugging away, JB telling me that I am grouchy for yelling at her, me feeling like there was no other way to get her to listen to me. I honestly felt like a failure as a parent – I am not patient enough, I don’t communicate well, I am obviously not giving her something she needs.
Now we are into first grade. She gets glowing reports from her teacher. I start seeing these excellent papers that she is doing in class. But when we sit down to do homework it is like pulling teeth. The teacher says she does a wonderful job of sitting still and focusing during circle time. When she gets home she is literally bouncing off the walls. When she gets off the bus I feed her a healthy snack and together we determine if she can sit down to do her homework right then or if she needs some time to run off energy. Either way, her concentration on her homework is minimal. It is not like she does not know the subject matter, it is like her brain is totally not engaged. She is like Tigger, bouncing around the house with equally bouncing thoughts. Recently she has been able to verbalize some things that have raised some red flags for me. I have contacted her doctor to discuss some of what she has said in conjunction with her unique behavior. We did get a referrall to see a specialist. Thankfully they had a sudden cacellation and instead of having to wait until Oct-Dec to get into see them, we will be able to get into them at the end of May. I ask you to please say some prayers of thanksgiving that this appointment opened up. DH and I really need some answers and some strategies to help JB reach her full potential. I have a lot of emotions as a parent flying through my heart about all of this. I just want JB to have every chance in the world to be who God has given her the potential to be.
